This Sickens Me!

I read the following story and can't help but feel sick and disgusted by this: (Here is the link to this story http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/23/bullying.suicide/index.html)

"My Bullied Son's Last Day on Earth"
by Mallory Simon
CNN

ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- Eleven-year-old Jaheem Herrera woke up on April 16 acting strangely. He wasn't hungry and he didn't want to go to school.But the outgoing fifth grader packed his bag and went to school at Dunaire Elementary School in DeKalb County, Georgia.He came home much happier than when he left in the morning, smiling as he handed his mother, Masika Bermudez, a glowing report card full of A's and B's. She gave him a high-five and he went upstairs to his room as she prepared dinner.

A little later, when his younger sister called him to come down to eat, Jaheem didn't answer. So mother and daughter climbed the stairs to Jaheem's room and opened the door.Jaheem was hanging by his belt in the closet."I always used to see these things on TV, dead people on the news," says Bermudez. "I saw somebody die and to see this dead person is your son, hanging there, a young boy. ... To hang yourself like that, you've got to really be tired of something."Bermudez says bullies at school pushed Jaheem over the edge.

He complained about being called gay, ugly and "the virgin" because he was from the Virgin Islands, she said."He used to say Mom they keep telling me this ... this gay word, this gay, gay, gay. I'm tired of hearing it, they're telling me the same thing over and over," she told CNN, as she wiped away tears from her face.But while she says her son complained about the bullying, she had no idea how bad it had gotten."He told me, but he just got to the point where he didn't want me to get involved anymore because nothing was done," she said.Bermudez said she complained to the school about bullying seven or eight times, but it wasn't enough to save him."It [apparently] just got worse and worse and worse until Thursday," she said. "Just to walk up to that room and see your baby hanging there. My daughter saw this, my baby saw this, my kids are traumatized."She said Jaheem was a shy boy just trying to get a good education and make friends.

"He was a nice little boy," Bermudez said through her tears. "He loved to dance. He loved to have fun. He loved to make friends. And all he made [at school] were enemies."Bermudez said she thinks her son felt like nobody wanted to help him, that nobody stood up and stopped the bullies."Maybe he said 'You know what -- I'm tired of telling my mom, she's been trying so hard, but nobody wants to help me,' " says Bermudez.After Jaheem's death, the school board expressed condolences, saying the school staff "works diligently to provide a safe and nurturing environment for all students."

Trying desperately to understand what went wrong, Bermudez asked her son's best friend to recount what happened on the day Jaheem killed himself."He [said he was] tired of complaining, tired of these guys messing with him," Bermudez said, recalling the conversation with Jaheem's best friend. "Tired of talking, I think to his teachers, counselors and nobody is doing anything -- and the best way out is death."Allegations of such severe bullying surprises experts familiar with the school district. It's anti-bullying program was considered exemplary and includes programs to raise awareness and a specially trained liaison. Students are even asked to sign a no-bullying pledge. But other parents told CNN they have complained about bullying as well.

Despite recent strides towards preventing bullying in schools and increased awareness programs, a Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network study showed that 65 percent of teens are bullied each year and most believe adults can't help them.Less than a month before Jaheem's death, a boy in Massachusetts killed himself after being bullied, harassed and called "gay."Eliza Byard, executive director of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, says to be effective, awareness programs need to include education about the harm that can be done by teasing someone about sexuality or perceived sexuality."Anti-gay language is really the ultimate weapon for a bully who wants to degrade his or her peers," she says. "And any effective response to bullying has to take that on."Bermudez doesn't understand why the children at school couldn't learn to get along. Because of it, she'll never get to see her son grow up."My baby, that's my only boy, and I lost him now," says Bermudez. "He was my first child and ... to lose him 11 years after, he didn't live his life."

She hopes her son's death will result in positive changes that will help other kids being bullied."Those that are being bullied -- they need to talk to their parents, they need to not hold back," she says. "I lost my son and now something has to be done."


I do not even know where to begin explaining how I feel about this story. The fact that an 11 year old child commited suicide, actually took his own life, because he was being made fun of so badly at school...its truly a tradgedy.

I KNOW what it is like to be made fun of by your classmates. I went through it almost every year that I was in grammar and high school. I know everyone gets made fun of at one time or another, but there are certain kids in a class that get singled out, and made fun of, and talked about, and pointed, and laughed at. It is the worst feeling the the world walking into a place when you feel like you are all alone and like you have nobody but yourself to rely on. Thank God I had a loving family, and a few close friends who supported me and helped me through those difficult times.

Children today are nasty. They are cruel. The sad part is, it is not even entirely their fault. They grow up in homes with ignorant parents and family members, racist family members. They grow up being taught that it is OKAY to make fun of someone for their size, their ethnicity, their sexuality, their families, their religious beliefs. I never agreed with the saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me." Names DO hurt. Names DO stick with you, even when you are way out of school and way past that time in your life. Names can sometimes hurt more than a punch in the face. Nobody.. not a child, not an adult... should feel like the only way out is to take their own life. ESPECIALLY a child. A child should be able to enjoy school.
I believe we need to teach out children that are growing up that bullying, teasing, making fun of people.. its NOT right. It is NOT okay.

We live in a nation of diversity. We live our lives amongst people of different ethnicities, different colors, different religions, different sexualities, different beliefs. We should EMBRACE that. We should RESPECT each other and what we believe in. Just because a person is gay, it does not give others the right to judge them, or make fun of them, or make them feel like they are anything less then we are. We don't have to agree with another persons choices, or way of life, or beliefs, but we DO need to respect them, and let them live their life, and support them in any way we can.

I grew up a Christian. Catholic. One of my best friends is an Atheist. She knows how I feel and what I believe and vice versa. We respect each other and each others beliefs. We do not judge each other for it, we do not make each other feel like what we believe is wrong. We respect each other and we move on. It has NEVER been an issue in our friendship. The past few months, I have realized that MY own view on certain things were being affected by the people surrounding me. I believe that if a person is gay (if they CHOOSE to be gay, if they are BORN gay, whatever the case), it is my responsibility as a human being, as a Christian, to respect them, no matter what. It is not my place to tell them if they are right or wrong. It is not my place to make fun of them. It is their life. I don't have to agree with it, but I can respect them for it. Parents seem to forget that their children pick up on everything they overhear. If a child overhears their mother or father, or other family members saying "being gay is wrong, stupid, etc." or "african-americans are horrible people." or "white people are nasty, snobby, stuck up, and stupid.", they are going to think that is the RIGHT way to think and they are going to act on those beliefs that were planted into their brains.

Something has GOT to be done about bullying in schools. Having a "program" in a school telling children why bullying is wrong is not going to cut it. They need to be told the hard truth...they need to be told what bullying can do to a person... emotionally and physically. They need to be repremanded for bullying. They need to see and believe that bullying is something that will NEVER be tolerated. Parents need to talk to their children about bullying and why its wrong. They need to be HONEST with them, and tell them how EVERYONE is different. No one person is the same. Our diversity is what makes us beautiful. Bullying in schools cannot be taken lightly anymore. It has done so much harm to so many children and so many families, and we need to stand up and make a change.

Ill leave you with this question...Youre walking down the street, its pouring rain,you have an umbrella, and you see someone without an unbrella stumble and fall, dropping everything they were holding, scrambling to pick everything up and get somewhere dry...do you run past them, and ignore them, or do you stop and help them? Its not just being NICE.. its respect.. something we dont give each other often at all!

Peace, Love, and Pug Hugs,
Maryann XO