Update on Yours Truly!! :]

I know I have not blogged much lately. For those of you who are not aware, I did delete my old myspace account, so this is now my primary, and only myspace account that I have. Unfortunately, all my old blogs got deleted with it, and I forgot to save them :[ Oh well. I just wanted to give you all a brief update on me. If you don't really care, then dont read! LOL

I am finally DONE (yes, absolutely, positively DONE) with my ex-boyfriend (Boyd, for those of you who don't know his name). A lot of people have been asking me if we still talk, whats going on with us...well there is your answer. We are done. I don't speak with him anymore, I don't wish to speak with him either. Its over. We will never be together again, and I truly believe that one day, he will realize what a good thing he had with me, and his will be kicking himself in the ass because he lost it. I know that I finally feel free. I am finally able to be myself without feeling the need to hide it. Its awful that after almost 6 years, I realized that I was bascially living in someone elses shadow - letting them make decisions for me, letting them tell me who I am and who I should be, letting them tell me what is right and what is wrong. One of my best friends, Manda, sent me a link about a month or so ago, and it explained emotional abuse. I highly advise everyone out there to research that topic. It is something that I really did not believe exsisted until I read this article. NOBODY has the right to make you feel inferior, nobody has the right to make you feel like you are less than what you are, nobody has the right to make you feel like you are somehow wrong about everything. Its scary to think a person could have such control over me (or anybody for that matter!), but I have learned my lesson and I am moving forward with my head held high and a smile on my face. My heart seems to be in a good place right now. I know many have been worried about me because I have kinda been "M.I.A" since the whole Boyd situation. I guess I shut out a lot of people because I just didn't want to deal with it. But Im ok, and I know I am better off without him, and I know that this all happened for a reason. I would never have been happy in the long run if things had continued. I know I am not perfect, but I was a KICK ASS girlfriend and I put up with a lot of crap that not many other girls would put up with. One of my best yet worst personality traits is that when I love someone, I love them with all that I have, all that I am. That will never change. All I can say is THANK YOU to my family and friends who have been there for me through this awful, stressful situation. You truly realize who your real friends are when you are in a situation when you need love and support and I want you all to know I am truly thankful for having each and every one of you in my life. If it were not for my family and friends, I am not sure I would have made it through the past 3-4 months.

On a happier note, summer cannot get here quickly enough for me. I am desperate to sit/lay on the beach with the sun beating down on me and the smell of the ocean filling my nose! I was down the shore this past weekend, and seeing the beach, the ocean, the boardwalk, it made me want summer to be here NOW. I plan on getting to the beach AS MUCH as possible this summer, considering last summer I did not see the beach even ONCE!

I was going to enroll into cosmetology school for skin care this past month, but things didn't work out financially the way I needed them to, so I had to put it on the backburner for now. I now see that it happened for a reason, because I really do not know if I want to go to school for skin care or for massage therapy. I am applying for different jobs right now (I gotta get back into working!), and I figure by fall I should have some money saved up to start up school.

To clear up any "misinterpretations", LOL, I am SINGLE. I am not in a relationship with anybody right now. I am not sure if I am quite ready to get serious with anyone right now, but if the "right person" were to come along and decide to catch me as I am falling for them, I would not be completely against it. ;] Im taking things one day at a time, and whatever happens, happens.

I do ask you all to please pray for me, keep me in your thoughts, because I am STRESSED OUT... *sigh* I got a speeding ticket back in March and I am going to court for it in May. (I am SO pleading NOT GUILTY.. I was NOT doing 78 in a 55... MAYBE a 68 in a 55... but my poor car cant even handle doing 78!) Im a little bit stressed about it and I truly hope that this all works out because I don't have $300+ for a TICKET! Especially for a ticket that I did not deserve! :[ I know this is not a big deal to most, but I have never gotten anything more than a parking ticket, and I have certainly never been to court for anything, so Im a little nerous to say the least!!! I have also changed my cell phone number.

If I have not given you my new number yet, please message me and I will give it to you! I guess that is it for now... I will be blogging more lately, I promise! I know there are a few of you out there who actually ENJOY my blogs! And good Lord, there are a lot of things I want to blog about.. so until then...

Peace, Love and Pug Hugs,Maryann =]

PS- If you have a facebook or myspace, please do friend request me on there. You can also "follow" me on Twitter.com LOL.